Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
