He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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