I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
