Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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