The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
