I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
