just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
