My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
