Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
