My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
