Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
