he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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