okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
