i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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