you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
