i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize