I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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