Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
3pm strippers are depressing
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
