well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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