who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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