I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
What did we do last night that was yellow?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
