bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
