she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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