I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
