Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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