So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
