my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize