I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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