I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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