She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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