Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
