I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
