Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
