we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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