Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
