The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
