she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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