You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
