i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
