and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Holy shit dude........stairs
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize