Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
