please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
