so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
