I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
