just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
