you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
