You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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