After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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