I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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