can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
