What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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