remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
