no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
