i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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