Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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