I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
