Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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