I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm always down for nudity.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I woke up under a house in Key West
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