you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
