Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
