with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
