I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
