O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
