I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
