didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
