it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
