I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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