never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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