I just pynch a tree in the face
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
