Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
